I recently found this draft that I never posted, imagine yourself ten months ago before you read this:
I am in my final year of high school, and I have noticed something rather amusing. I am talking of something other than the fact that we can cut in line in the canteen and watch all the little faces of the year sevens glare at us as we walk out with the last pizza slice or whatever.
I'm talking about the difference between the speeds of which year sevens, compared to year elevens, get to class.
Also I can vaguely remember reading a Facebook like about this, so it might sound like I ripped it off, but only because it's true.
Year sevens have this tendency to jump up as though the bell is actually a gun shot and they are all about to die if they don't get to class before it rings. It's funny sitting in Art and watching them all file in, ten minutes before the first bell, and wait in a neat little line in front of the door. This and the fact that their bags tend to be the same, if not bigger, than the people who carry them.
Which is something else I noticed, if you line up five students, going from year seven to year eleven you will see huge massive rucksacks on the year sevens, then a normal size one, a shoulder bag, a little bum bag type thing, and arrive at the year eleven, who is holding one, single pen (if you're lucky)
But then you have year eights and nine who think that arriving at the exact moment between first and second bell is the coolest thing ever. To be honest almost-as-tall-as-me-children it's about as cool as walking around school in your underwear with a big sign tattooed on your forehead that says '*Our headteacher* for Prime Minister' (and if you're just that stupid, *our headteacher* for Prime minister would include imposing a compulsory uniform for everyone with a life time in prison if you fail to conform and would also include every one getting ridicules hair cuts to match his, and really, imagine him on a poster? Have you seen his head-shot photos?)
I suppose you could come back with the fact that I was once one of these so cooled lamest-people-ever *shudder* but by saying what they are, it doesn't make me not. For example, if I was to call my best friend a werido and someone said, 'you're one to talk' I reply with 'I didn't say I wasn't, I merely said she was'
You may also gather from the previous paragraph that I am also pretty lame. That and the fact I'm ranting on the internet...
YEAR 10, yeah whatever. So you walk around thinking you own the place because you're almost as cool as we are. Really it's just annoying. Have you noticed just how high pitched everyone in year ten sounds? That and the fact that they insist on walking at the pace of a dead snail in the corridor. You might think you look unbelievably cool, but you're in my way, so shift before I hurt you.
Alas we arrive at us, the year elevens, and now that the sixth form is high tailing its way out of our lives we do, in fact, own all of you. Sitting in the middle of hallways and not moving until ten minutes after the second bell, and laughing at the mortified faces of the year sevens who have to step over us who just can't believe that we haven't seen fit to move off our arses and get to class.
So what have we learned? (other than I seem to becoming increasingly bitter as I get older)
Year elevens = cool
Anyone else = drool
And yes, I did just use a rhyme we made up in year five.
Kebby x
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rant. Show all posts
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
Keb Vs. Life 06/12/11
It's December folks! How awesome is that it is only nineteen days until Christmas? Although the magic does go out of it a little bit when you reach my age and you know Santas not real but you still get the free things, even when your pile of presents in depressingly small because they are all handheld gadgets and gizmos that will last a weekend beofre you brake them.
It's also a little pointless when you get given money, because we all know that we are only going to spend it on tat and things on a whim that never amount to anything and away trickles your money. I suppose it is an ecuse to get drunk, and New Year is only five days later and that's always fun...
Unless you are like me and have to spend New Year with your family at a family friends house completely sober and surrounded by an assortment of small children.
It's not so bad though I suppose. When you think about it, I only have to wait two years before I am legally allowed to get drunk, and that's only, what? Two new years away, which really isn't that many to be honest. However, when you are my age everything takes forever so two years is going to feel like a thousand.
What really annoys me is how once you reach October every shop you enter get's their Christmas shizz out! We haven't even had Halloween and their like SANTA. Halloween is so much more fun anyway, free sweets, an excuse to get dressed up, and more importantly, Halloween parties! My parents reckon its the American form of begging, butI don't care - I'm too drunk to care ;)
That's a lie, I don't drink. I've only ever been tipsey like once. I texted my ex girlfriend and then confessed my love to a sixth former I'd never seen before in my life. Since then I have had an aversion to alcohol... ish.
Vodka and Coke all the way man ;)
Kebby x
It's also a little pointless when you get given money, because we all know that we are only going to spend it on tat and things on a whim that never amount to anything and away trickles your money. I suppose it is an ecuse to get drunk, and New Year is only five days later and that's always fun...
Unless you are like me and have to spend New Year with your family at a family friends house completely sober and surrounded by an assortment of small children.
It's not so bad though I suppose. When you think about it, I only have to wait two years before I am legally allowed to get drunk, and that's only, what? Two new years away, which really isn't that many to be honest. However, when you are my age everything takes forever so two years is going to feel like a thousand.
What really annoys me is how once you reach October every shop you enter get's their Christmas shizz out! We haven't even had Halloween and their like SANTA. Halloween is so much more fun anyway, free sweets, an excuse to get dressed up, and more importantly, Halloween parties! My parents reckon its the American form of begging, butI don't care - I'm too drunk to care ;)
That's a lie, I don't drink. I've only ever been tipsey like once. I texted my ex girlfriend and then confessed my love to a sixth former I'd never seen before in my life. Since then I have had an aversion to alcohol... ish.
Vodka and Coke all the way man ;)
Kebby x
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Keb Vs. Life 22/06/11
No more high school! After my leavers assembly next week I can walk out of those gates and never look back.
Though now I think about it, I couldn't wait to see the end of Primary school and then spent the next three years wishing I could go back to being eleven again. So maybe this isn't going to be any different.
Anyway enough with the pleasantries. The most hilarious thing has happened to me the other day. A couple of Bible preachers came to my door and after leaving them there for ten minutes (forgetting that they had seen me enter my house) I went and said hey. They opened with 'Thank you for opening the door'
....Because the ability to open the door is something so special, and you're thanking me after I blatantly left you outside for ten minutes?
Then they go 'Have you found Jesus?' my first thought was 'Why? Have you lost him?' the looks on their faces will stay with me forever I think XD
They asked me if my parents were in because they wanted to sell us some bibles. Now I would take all this in good nature, spend maybe fifteen minutes mocking them, and then send them on their way. Whereas my father (the only one in the house with me at the time) would more likely jab them with something sharp and slam the door in their faces.
I told them this, and they looked at me dumbly. Then I told them I was Gay and all Hell broke loose. The moment the words left my lips their passiveness vanished.
"You need Jesus!"
"God be with you child!"
Give it a rest you delusional twerps. You are more out of your minds than I am. Do you know there's a medical term for people who see and believe in things that aren't really there: Mentally insane.
One of my favorite lines from House M.D is:
Nun: Sister Augustine tends to believe in things that aren't real
House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people?
My favorite line is: Another life saved by girl on girl action. But that's totally unrelated.
Kebby x
Though now I think about it, I couldn't wait to see the end of Primary school and then spent the next three years wishing I could go back to being eleven again. So maybe this isn't going to be any different.
Anyway enough with the pleasantries. The most hilarious thing has happened to me the other day. A couple of Bible preachers came to my door and after leaving them there for ten minutes (forgetting that they had seen me enter my house) I went and said hey. They opened with 'Thank you for opening the door'
....Because the ability to open the door is something so special, and you're thanking me after I blatantly left you outside for ten minutes?
Then they go 'Have you found Jesus?' my first thought was 'Why? Have you lost him?' the looks on their faces will stay with me forever I think XD
They asked me if my parents were in because they wanted to sell us some bibles. Now I would take all this in good nature, spend maybe fifteen minutes mocking them, and then send them on their way. Whereas my father (the only one in the house with me at the time) would more likely jab them with something sharp and slam the door in their faces.
I told them this, and they looked at me dumbly. Then I told them I was Gay and all Hell broke loose. The moment the words left my lips their passiveness vanished.
"You need Jesus!"
"God be with you child!"
Give it a rest you delusional twerps. You are more out of your minds than I am. Do you know there's a medical term for people who see and believe in things that aren't really there: Mentally insane.
One of my favorite lines from House M.D is:
Nun: Sister Augustine tends to believe in things that aren't real
House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people?
My favorite line is: Another life saved by girl on girl action. But that's totally unrelated.
Kebby x
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Keb Vs. Life 18/05/11
Today, we had an English exam. Today, I confirmed my suspicion that the exam boards are complete tossers bent on destroying our lives. Today, I learned about four places, in countries I don't particularly care about, give out free pigs, trade usage of a football pitch for bags of crap and entertain twelve people a day in exchange for not killing totally innocent animals out of spite.
You know, if the exam boards are going to take two hours of out life to kill our hand muscles and numb our arses then they could at least make the texts and questions interesting right?
Sometimes I genuinely think that the exam board think we are twenty years older than we actually are. Seriously, why would a bunch of 16/15 year old kids care about whether or not you want to spend your time in drizzly old England or sunny Spain? That's out parents job.
Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them to be honest. I can think of at least five people I wouldn't mind shooting - and that's without thinking too hard about it.
Wanna hear a lame joke? Some people are like slinkies, pretty much useless, but it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs... heh heh heh
Sometime I don't really understand is how people think that they can walk right over someone and then there not be any consequences to it. It's like, didn't we just have this argument last week? And already you're bringing it up again. Having the same fight, over and over again, with someone is one of the most draining things ever.
I'm also at the moment watching new moon, and I'm thinking to myself as I watch it, what sad lonely life must you lead if you pine like a zombie after a guy for months on end. There's more to life than guys and the crap they cause.
But don't think girls are any better. Girls are worse. Girls scheme. Girls are evil. Never forget that.
Kebby x
P.S the follow by email box is lonely D:
You know, if the exam boards are going to take two hours of out life to kill our hand muscles and numb our arses then they could at least make the texts and questions interesting right?
Sometimes I genuinely think that the exam board think we are twenty years older than we actually are. Seriously, why would a bunch of 16/15 year old kids care about whether or not you want to spend your time in drizzly old England or sunny Spain? That's out parents job.
Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them to be honest. I can think of at least five people I wouldn't mind shooting - and that's without thinking too hard about it.
Wanna hear a lame joke? Some people are like slinkies, pretty much useless, but it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs... heh heh heh
Sometime I don't really understand is how people think that they can walk right over someone and then there not be any consequences to it. It's like, didn't we just have this argument last week? And already you're bringing it up again. Having the same fight, over and over again, with someone is one of the most draining things ever.
I'm also at the moment watching new moon, and I'm thinking to myself as I watch it, what sad lonely life must you lead if you pine like a zombie after a guy for months on end. There's more to life than guys and the crap they cause.
But don't think girls are any better. Girls are worse. Girls scheme. Girls are evil. Never forget that.
Kebby x
P.S the follow by email box is lonely D:
Monday, 16 May 2011
Keb Vs. Life 16/05/11
Do you know what makes me laugh? When people are stupid enough to click links on facebook that are quite obviously a virus. Like that new dislike button that's currently circulating. It's not REAL you dumb ass.
Anyway, rant for today: Religion
Einstein said: Religion without Science is lame, Science without Religion is blind.
Christians believe that people are made in the image of God and that we differ from animals because we have souls whereas animals don't. I don't believe this- some men don't have souls. When I said this to my Dad his reply was: I have souls, soles on the bottom of my shoes, and people who believe in God? Why, they're ar-souls.
It made me giggle I must admit. He dared me to write it in my exam tomorrow. Isn't he a great role-model?
The fact is. You can't logically argue with an illogical person, in this metaphor, science is logical, and religion is illogical. Okay yes it was used to explain the unexplainable but now we don't really need it because science does it for us. The only difference is there is actual proof for science.
My dad said religion causes poverty, because in like the middle ages or whatever a lot of money was put toward building churches and donating to the church. Then they would blame God when they had no food. Well clever people, if you hadn't given the money to build a large house then you could go buy grain and you wouldn't starve.
Despite it's name, common sense really isn't all that common.
Plus power corrupts and when you could only get the bible in Latin it's said that the Vicars/Priests/person would manipulate the people who could barely read English let alone Latin so they could pretty much make it all up and say whatever they liked.
If you've done GCSE history like I have you'll also see how much Religion has hindered the development of medicine. Imagine - without religion how much more advanced do you reckon you'd be? If you took away all the time it took for ideas to become accepted and use that time to develop better ideas. We could have been hundreds of years more advanced in medical knowledge.
The only good point to religion that I can see is that it nurtures hope and faith. Which aren't necessarily bad things.
And if my shoulder didn't really hurt and I was allowed my laptop for longer I would've written more but I has to go now.
Conclusion: Religion bad. Science good.
Kebby x
P.S *points to follow by email box*
Anyway, rant for today: Religion
Einstein said: Religion without Science is lame, Science without Religion is blind.
Christians believe that people are made in the image of God and that we differ from animals because we have souls whereas animals don't. I don't believe this- some men don't have souls. When I said this to my Dad his reply was: I have souls, soles on the bottom of my shoes, and people who believe in God? Why, they're ar-souls.
It made me giggle I must admit. He dared me to write it in my exam tomorrow. Isn't he a great role-model?
The fact is. You can't logically argue with an illogical person, in this metaphor, science is logical, and religion is illogical. Okay yes it was used to explain the unexplainable but now we don't really need it because science does it for us. The only difference is there is actual proof for science.
My dad said religion causes poverty, because in like the middle ages or whatever a lot of money was put toward building churches and donating to the church. Then they would blame God when they had no food. Well clever people, if you hadn't given the money to build a large house then you could go buy grain and you wouldn't starve.
Despite it's name, common sense really isn't all that common.
Plus power corrupts and when you could only get the bible in Latin it's said that the Vicars/Priests/person would manipulate the people who could barely read English let alone Latin so they could pretty much make it all up and say whatever they liked.
If you've done GCSE history like I have you'll also see how much Religion has hindered the development of medicine. Imagine - without religion how much more advanced do you reckon you'd be? If you took away all the time it took for ideas to become accepted and use that time to develop better ideas. We could have been hundreds of years more advanced in medical knowledge.
The only good point to religion that I can see is that it nurtures hope and faith. Which aren't necessarily bad things.
And if my shoulder didn't really hurt and I was allowed my laptop for longer I would've written more but I has to go now.
Conclusion: Religion bad. Science good.
Kebby x
P.S *points to follow by email box*
Friday, 13 May 2011
Keb V.s Life 13/05/11
Do you know what really bugs me? Like really, really bugs me?
When Blogger goes down for maintenance and deletes one of my posts and I can't remember what I said so it's now possibly lost forever. And when it removes my oh-so-brilliant new layout, that has just taken me half an hour to restore.
This is why I prefer paper to blogs.
I got a request today, to do a rant on P.E. So let's see what happens...
But before I go on, if you look in the left hand side of the blog, near the top there is a box. In this box it says: Follow by email. But here's the clever bit, if you type your email into the little white box underneath 'Follow by email' you will be emailed when I post a new blog. This way I don't have to continually post it on facebook. Brilliant no?
Right, anyway, to be honest I actually rather enjoy P.E so I don't have anything specifically aimed at the school subject. I do however seem to have the most hilarious group of students in my P.E lessons. I mean seriously, just watch us play rounders, you'll never laugh so hard in your life.
First of all, as a whole, we suck. I mean yeah there are a few of us who can throw, who can catch, who can bat and who can run - and there's only about one who can do all four - but mostly, we just suck.
You can pretty much put us all into these categories:
Dancers
Droppers
Flails
Over-enthusiastic fails
Slippers
Their definitions are as follows:
Dancers: The people who are more groovy then movey.... wait I re-read that and saw how totally and completely OMG that sounded. But you get the picture. The people who are more Gymnastics, Dancing, Badminton kind of people - all they are really good for is making you laugh hysterically at their mockery of a run/throw/catch, though to be honest they can usually hit quite well.
Droppers: Anyone who has ever seen friends knows where this is going, these people may or may not be very good at everything else, except catching. I once watched someone go to catch the ball and it go straight through their hands and hit them smack damn in the middle of their forehead. It was the most fail of all failed catches I have ever seen in my life.
Flails: These are the ones who sort of stand there instead of trying to hit the ball and then dither on the spot before deciding whether or not they are going to run. Or a sub-breed of this is when they do run, but they run as though they are a spider on crack, arms and legs everywhere....
Over-enthusiastic fails: These are the ones who think they are awesome and end up screaming at you to run faster, or to stop at a post, or yell because you didn't catch the ball. These are the people you feel like going up to (with the rounders bat) and smacking them up-side the head with it.
Slippers: Maybe the funniest category of all, these are the people who do the most spectacular dives/trips and end up gamboling between posts, or sliding in on their knees to the last post. Even the fielding team can do this when they go to catch. God knows I've done it enough times XD
Finally there are the players who don't even deserve a category and have to go deep field, like so far back you'd have to be superman to hit it that far. Or the person who you pretend you don't see when it's there turn to bat and you just go in front of them.
And this is just Rounders XD
I also have a new favorite Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmcK83CS9DE
Seriously, go watch it.
Kebby x
P.S subscribe via email, you know you want to ;)
P.P.S why are you still here? Go watch the youtube video. God.
When Blogger goes down for maintenance and deletes one of my posts and I can't remember what I said so it's now possibly lost forever. And when it removes my oh-so-brilliant new layout, that has just taken me half an hour to restore.
This is why I prefer paper to blogs.
I got a request today, to do a rant on P.E. So let's see what happens...
But before I go on, if you look in the left hand side of the blog, near the top there is a box. In this box it says: Follow by email. But here's the clever bit, if you type your email into the little white box underneath 'Follow by email' you will be emailed when I post a new blog. This way I don't have to continually post it on facebook. Brilliant no?
Right, anyway, to be honest I actually rather enjoy P.E so I don't have anything specifically aimed at the school subject. I do however seem to have the most hilarious group of students in my P.E lessons. I mean seriously, just watch us play rounders, you'll never laugh so hard in your life.
First of all, as a whole, we suck. I mean yeah there are a few of us who can throw, who can catch, who can bat and who can run - and there's only about one who can do all four - but mostly, we just suck.
You can pretty much put us all into these categories:
Dancers
Droppers
Flails
Over-enthusiastic fails
Slippers
Their definitions are as follows:
Dancers: The people who are more groovy then movey.... wait I re-read that and saw how totally and completely OMG that sounded. But you get the picture. The people who are more Gymnastics, Dancing, Badminton kind of people - all they are really good for is making you laugh hysterically at their mockery of a run/throw/catch, though to be honest they can usually hit quite well.
Droppers: Anyone who has ever seen friends knows where this is going, these people may or may not be very good at everything else, except catching. I once watched someone go to catch the ball and it go straight through their hands and hit them smack damn in the middle of their forehead. It was the most fail of all failed catches I have ever seen in my life.
Flails: These are the ones who sort of stand there instead of trying to hit the ball and then dither on the spot before deciding whether or not they are going to run. Or a sub-breed of this is when they do run, but they run as though they are a spider on crack, arms and legs everywhere....
Over-enthusiastic fails: These are the ones who think they are awesome and end up screaming at you to run faster, or to stop at a post, or yell because you didn't catch the ball. These are the people you feel like going up to (with the rounders bat) and smacking them up-side the head with it.
Slippers: Maybe the funniest category of all, these are the people who do the most spectacular dives/trips and end up gamboling between posts, or sliding in on their knees to the last post. Even the fielding team can do this when they go to catch. God knows I've done it enough times XD
Finally there are the players who don't even deserve a category and have to go deep field, like so far back you'd have to be superman to hit it that far. Or the person who you pretend you don't see when it's there turn to bat and you just go in front of them.
And this is just Rounders XD
I also have a new favorite Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmcK83CS9DE
Seriously, go watch it.
Kebby x
P.S subscribe via email, you know you want to ;)
P.P.S why are you still here? Go watch the youtube video. God.
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
Keb Vs. Life 09/04/11
Morning all,
I was in Birmingham the other week and as I was walking down the high street I heard something that stirred fits of laughter from my stomach - "Homosexuality is a disease, Jesus can heal you"
Well, my first reaction was - this Jesus fellow must be pretty impressive if he can heal people from the afterlife. My second reaction was this - If God is all-loving and gave us the power of free will then why the hell can't I be gay?
I would have gone up to them and have a lengthy philosophical debate with them had I not been with my Christian Grandmother who doesn't know I'm gay. I wasn't particularly fond of treating a heart attack in the middle of the busy Birmingham high street.
Being gay is not a disease. I don't go around telling you how to live your life so don't go around telling me how to live mine. How many religions are there? They can't all be true, they contradict each other too much. I'm not saying you shouldn't believe, by all means go ahead, whatever gets you through the day. My only problem is when you use religion as an excuse to bully perfectly innocent people for being a little different to you.
If being gay is abnormal and wrong because it's a minority and we weren't born to be this way originally, then by the same logic you should be chasing vegetarians with your massive killer bibles and smacking them round the head with it as well. Humans are born with the ability to eat meat, and the majority of people do. But that doesn't make them wrong, or such a big target for bullying, does it?
If you don't like gay relationships/marriage, then the answer is quite simple: don't get one.
For an English assignment we had to write a speech about an ambition. I chose to do one on promoting gay rights and helping to get them accepted in this society. When I had finished I had made a couple of people cry, and a few came up to me and said how it was a great speech and that it really made them think.
But it didn't really change anything. I still hear the comments people pass about me as I walk down the corridor, and I still get gay joke after gay joke during conversations (which, guys, are getting boring, can't you think up some more original ones?) and it made me sad.
I thought out generation was suppose to be the one that is going to change the world! But maybe I was wrong, maybe it's going to take longer than I thought.
Why does there have to be something to pick on? Woman, blacks, religion, gays, handicapped people.
The American deceleration states 'free rights for all'
When will everyone realize that 'all' really does mean ALL?
By the way, you can guarantee this won't be my last rant on being gay.
Kebby x
I was in Birmingham the other week and as I was walking down the high street I heard something that stirred fits of laughter from my stomach - "Homosexuality is a disease, Jesus can heal you"
Well, my first reaction was - this Jesus fellow must be pretty impressive if he can heal people from the afterlife. My second reaction was this - If God is all-loving and gave us the power of free will then why the hell can't I be gay?
I would have gone up to them and have a lengthy philosophical debate with them had I not been with my Christian Grandmother who doesn't know I'm gay. I wasn't particularly fond of treating a heart attack in the middle of the busy Birmingham high street.
Being gay is not a disease. I don't go around telling you how to live your life so don't go around telling me how to live mine. How many religions are there? They can't all be true, they contradict each other too much. I'm not saying you shouldn't believe, by all means go ahead, whatever gets you through the day. My only problem is when you use religion as an excuse to bully perfectly innocent people for being a little different to you.
If being gay is abnormal and wrong because it's a minority and we weren't born to be this way originally, then by the same logic you should be chasing vegetarians with your massive killer bibles and smacking them round the head with it as well. Humans are born with the ability to eat meat, and the majority of people do. But that doesn't make them wrong, or such a big target for bullying, does it?
If you don't like gay relationships/marriage, then the answer is quite simple: don't get one.
For an English assignment we had to write a speech about an ambition. I chose to do one on promoting gay rights and helping to get them accepted in this society. When I had finished I had made a couple of people cry, and a few came up to me and said how it was a great speech and that it really made them think.
But it didn't really change anything. I still hear the comments people pass about me as I walk down the corridor, and I still get gay joke after gay joke during conversations (which, guys, are getting boring, can't you think up some more original ones?) and it made me sad.
I thought out generation was suppose to be the one that is going to change the world! But maybe I was wrong, maybe it's going to take longer than I thought.
Why does there have to be something to pick on? Woman, blacks, religion, gays, handicapped people.
The American deceleration states 'free rights for all'
When will everyone realize that 'all' really does mean ALL?
By the way, you can guarantee this won't be my last rant on being gay.
Kebby x
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)