Keb Vs. Life 14/12/11

My favorite movie of all time has to be the Lion King without question. For my sixteenth my mom took me to go see it on the West End in London. I seriously could have died right after and have been totally content with my life, it might have been the single most brilliant expirience of my life, ever. The weekend was awesome with the museams and shizz, but really the show was astounding. If you have never been, go, seriously, do it. Do it now. Why are you still reading? Go book your tickets.

On another note. Another good movie is 'Imagine me and you' and while not your conventional love story (e.g boy meets girl, fall in love, parents/teachers/other person try to break them up blah de blah) it's an awesome, as I call them, fuzzy film.

It's about this girl called Rahceal who gets married to this guy called Hector but the florist who does the wedding (Luce) catches her eye and they fall head over heels in love and Heck tries to play the good guy and let her be happy and it has the happy ending where Luce and Racheal find each other again and so on.

Seriously, go see it. Awesome film. You can usually find it online, but shhh, that's a little less than legal ;)

So my Biology teacher (Who will hereforth be refered to as Mr ScaryMan (Not his really name)) who is usually quite laid back and serene goes Apeshit on monday because all bar four people got an E or less on the mock exam. First off, let me say, if all but four people fail then it can't just be our fault right? It's gotta be something the teacher is or is not doing too.

But anyway. So Mr ScaryMan is glaring at us all (and we know he is pissed due to the very angry email he sent us the week before) and starts screaming at us. Telling us we are all going to fail in January and he even throws an exam paper across the room. Mr ScaryMan, I'm not sure if you are allowed to throw things at us y;know, but I'm not going to mention it incase you hunt me down and decapitate me with a blunt axe in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping....

He even storms out mid rage, which is kind of funny. You have to try so hard not to laugh when teachers yell at you. But not only that, out other Biology teacher (hereafter known as Miss SkinnyTwit) then lays on the 'I'm so disappointed in you' speech which quite frankly is so much worse than just being yelled at.

I never take mock exams seriously. Though in the interest of keeping my head attached to my shoulders I think I will from now on....

That's a lie, Procrastination and PS3 FTW <3

Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life 08/12/11

Life goes on. That's my message of the day to everyone (by that I mean the all of 1 person who reads this) No matter how big a mistake you make (unless you get your hands on nuclear weapons) it won't end the world and tomorrow will still come. Everything will change maybe, but time will march on.

Which I suppose brings us to today's story. I recently got a job working on the cashiers at sainsburys and I am lucky enough to have my mother as a boss (*sarcastic happy dance*) and it's not too bad. But because I'm under eighteen I can't sell alcohol to people and have to call a supervisor over to approve it. You know what? People are not jut awkward, they are downright nasty.

This one man who came in only came through with only alcohol - despite the fact that there is a sign on my till stating that I am under 18 and have to call a supervisor - and when I explain it to him and ask him if he would like to go to another till or wait for a supervisor he goes: Why are you on a till if you are under 18?

So I looked at him, smiled sweetly (though I was thinking of some choice words mind you) and said: I'm sorry sir, I can work on the till at sixteen, but I can only sell items that I am legally old enough to buy myself.

He looks at me and goes: Get off the till you stupid girl, where is your manager?

I had to suppress the biggest urge to punch him in the face, but I didn't. I went: 'Sorry sir,' (through gritted teeth and the most sarcastic tone ever) I will call my manager, but she will say the same thing, I have every right not to sell you this alcohol, so please bare with me'

He looked stunned that I had spoken to him in that way, but most of the other customers were trying not to laugh. How is it my fault if someone is a class a douche and isn't afraid to act like one? Like really, what the hell happened to manners? Chivalry I get, because of feminists, but manners cost nothing. Stop being an uneducated twit and act like a somewhat decent human being XD

I got deeply told off for what I did, but time marches on, and it was soo bloody worth it ;)

Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life 06/12/11

It's December folks! How awesome is that it is only nineteen days until Christmas? Although the magic does go out of it a little bit when you reach my age and you know Santas not real but you still get the free things, even when your pile of presents in depressingly small because they are all handheld gadgets and gizmos that will last a weekend beofre you brake them.

It's also a little pointless when you get given money, because we all know that we are only going to spend it on tat and things on a whim that never amount to anything and away trickles your money. I suppose it is an ecuse to get drunk, and New Year is only five days later and that's always fun...

Unless you are like me and have to spend New Year with your family at a family friends house completely sober and surrounded by an assortment of small children.

It's not so bad though I suppose. When you think about it, I only have to wait two years before I am legally allowed to get drunk, and that's only, what? Two new years away, which really isn't that many to be honest. However, when you are my age everything takes forever so two years is going to feel like a thousand.

What really annoys me is how once you reach October every shop you enter get's their Christmas shizz out! We haven't even had Halloween and their like SANTA. Halloween is so much more fun anyway, free sweets, an excuse to get dressed up, and more importantly, Halloween parties! My parents reckon its the American form of begging, butI don't care - I'm too drunk to care ;)

That's a lie, I don't drink. I've only ever been tipsey like once. I texted my ex girlfriend and then confessed my love to a sixth former I'd never seen before in my life. Since then I have had an aversion to alcohol... ish.

Vodka and Coke all the way man ;)

Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life 8/11/11

My sixth form is large, clean, state of the art, and... okay no, it's a school. A school is a school - no matter how much you dress it up and make the students wear suits. It's still a school, and we still hate it.

Maybe hate is too strong a word. I mean our sixth form is one of thos posh Landau Forte things, with hand picked teachers and million pound technology. So I suppose it's pretty cool in that aspect. But I hate the suit wearing thing, it's really annoying. I want my jeans D:

However it does prepare us for later life and jobs and shizz, but still, I miss my afternoons and friends who didn't come here.
And I don't know everything like I used to. There are so many new people, I don't know their names let alone their deepest secrets (and trust me, I knew everyones at my high school)

Life can only get better.... right?

Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life 02/09/11

I only logged in to say:

Homosexuality is recorded in 80% of known species, homophobia in only one. Whose unnatural now bitch ;) x

Keb Vs. Life 22/06/11

No more high school! After my leavers assembly next week I can walk out of those gates and never look back.

Though now I think about it, I couldn't wait to see the end of Primary school and then spent the next three years wishing I could go back to being eleven again. So maybe this isn't going to be any different.

Anyway enough with the pleasantries. The most hilarious thing has happened to me the other day. A couple of Bible preachers came to my door and after leaving them there for ten minutes (forgetting that they had seen me enter my house) I went and said hey. They opened with 'Thank you for opening the door'

....Because the ability to open the door is something so special, and you're thanking me after I blatantly left you outside for ten minutes?

Then they go 'Have you found Jesus?' my first thought was 'Why? Have you lost him?' the looks on their faces will stay with me forever I think XD

They asked me if my parents were in because they wanted to sell us some bibles. Now I would take all this in good nature, spend maybe fifteen minutes mocking them, and then send them on their way. Whereas my father (the only one in the house with me at the time) would more likely jab them with something sharp and slam the door in their faces.

I told them this, and they looked at me dumbly. Then I told them I was Gay and all Hell broke loose. The moment the words left my lips their passiveness vanished.

"You need Jesus!"
"God be with you child!"

Give it a rest you delusional twerps. You are more out of your minds than I am. Do you know there's a medical term for people who see and believe in things that aren't really there: Mentally insane.

One of my favorite lines from House M.D is:
Nun: Sister Augustine tends to believe in things that aren't real
House: I thought that was a job requirement for you people?

My favorite line is: Another life saved by girl on girl action. But that's totally unrelated.

Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life 15/06/11

Political correctness. Political correctness and Health and Safety. The definitions of these phrases are as follows:

Health and safety:
Telling us not to do the things our parents and common sense should have taught us - and then some.

Political correctness:
Making it three times as hard to explain anything. "I knew this black woman.... I mean this African-American none male... I mean vagina wielding African-American civilian."

Dude, I can't call you black, even though you are, because it might 'offend you' seriously? I don't get offended when people call me a lesbian, do you know why? Because I am a lesbian. Even if they say it as an insult, you shouldn't take it as one, because it's not an insult if it's true!

People seem to get 'insult' and 'description of self' mixed up. How? I'll never know.

But why? Where did this come from? It came from someone who decided to make a law about offending people. When I was little and I go offended this was my parents response: 'Wahhhh he called me an idiot.' 'Katie, you are an idiot, get over it'

Everyone gets offended by different things, what offends you, might not offend me, and so on. How do you make a law out of that? What happens if you get offended? Absolutely nothing. It's not like you get offended and the next day you wake up with cancer!

I went on a school trip once a couple years ago, and all the teachers who went get this nifty little piece of paper with the health and safety rules and regula-crap. On the list was 'Do not climb on the 8th story banister'

Really? It's just what I had planned to do on this trip where we were limited to the first three floors and the balcony doors were all locked. Oh damn, ruined my plans for the day.

*Facepalm*

Another ridicules phrase? Terms and Conditions.

Whoever says they have read the terms and conditions are LYING. They are bare faced, obvious, crappy liars. The only reason websites have them is because it's the law to do so, so if you're stupid enough to click a link that is quite obviously a virus you can't sue the website.

That's another thing, people seem to think they can sue other people because of their own stupidity. My mom works at Sainsbury's and she once had a customer come in and complain. What was the complaint? 'I spilled the orange juice all over me when I opened it, I demand you get me a new orange juice for free'

Let me think about that.... no.

Why, just why would you think they would actually go and give you a free orange juice because you failed to do what I learned to do when I was seven?

The human race never ceases to amaze me.

Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life 07/06/11

I found a list of the top ten medical symptoms you should never ignore. Number three was 'Sudden blindness'

Not only does this thoroughly enforce my philosophy that the general public are morons, but it also tells me that some high and mighty Doctor type person either believes the same or proves that it's not just that the general public morons, but so are high and mighty fancy and supposedly smart people.

Just imagine *you go suddenly blind* 'Oh my God who turned out the lights? Well no worries, don't make a fuss, it's probably nothing'

*Headdesk*

Let's not forget, if you were moronic enough to ignore sudden blindness you wouldn't be able to read the top ten list of symptoms you shouldn't ignore, then you would be in a bit of a pickle wouldn't you XD

So my topic for today, as you may have seen, is 'Health'

Now I'm not going to sit and preach to you about the Do's and Don't's of a healthy lifestyle, because let's face it, I'm not the healthiest person ever, I once had McDonalds for Breakfast, Lunch AND Dinner.

I am however going to complain long and hard (heh heh heh ;D) about people who choose to smoke and do drugs, there's no sense to it really, it's not clever, and it's not cool, and you're going to ruin your life.

For one smoking smells revolting for everyone around you. Do you know what bad smalls do? They make you loose all your friends, it is for this reason why you should shower more often -you smell.... really bad (this is directed at someone but shush ;))

Second smoking is really crazy expensive. I mean three years ago my mom quit smoking and we paid for a holiday for four to Spain only a few months later with the money she would have used to smoke with. Plus if you can't legally buy your own smokes there's the hint you moron you shouldn't be doing it.

Drugs, now drugs I have a real problem. Saying yes to taking drugs is like saying yes to a large man smacking your immune system repeatedly with a pinata stick. A pinata stick with spikes and tiny bombs that explode on impact.

Still not convinced?

Okay imagine this: someone has the nerve to dress me up, do my hair, and make up, and puts me in high heels. Imagine them making me go clothes shopping and cooing over boys.

Got that image?

Now, for those who know me, I would do to that person, what drugs will do to your life. If you do not know me, this means I would put them in a sack, tie the top of the sack up, hang them from a tree, beat them with sticks, throw knives at the sack, use it to practice my aim with my cross bow, make a circuit and electrocute the bag and finish off by decapitating the mangled corpse.

Consider this also a warning for anyone who wants to 'girl me up'

I'm a pure bred dyke. Deal with it.

Kebby x

P.S emailness is calling you, answer it.

Keb Vs. Life 31/05/11

Last day of May... I'm not quite sure why this is important.

Do you know what I have at the moment? Writers block. I mean come on, who invited Writers block -.- it is simply there to infuriate me.

Anyway, rant for today: The weather

(And no it's not just because I have nothing to rant about at said moment, I genuinely do have a bone to pick with the weather.)

For starters we all already know all about how completely and utterly crappy and depressing the English weather is, and it's not that I hate the rain, because I don't, it's brilliant for walking in when you're in a bad mood, or jumping in puddles when you're in a good mood.

It's the fact that the English weather has more mood swings than my 13 year old PMS-ing little sister. And that's saying something...

But it's like, for fucks sake Mother Nature, make your mind up, either piss it down or be sunny. No more of this sub-zero wind crap either, not cool Mother Nature, not cool.

Also, we still have NO CHOCOLATE SPREAD *fume*

I really need to go buy some summer clothes, you know the transformation where most people go from coats to a bit of clothe tied around their chests. Where my long sleeves turn into short sleeves, and my dark jeans turn into light jeans, which about as much of a change you'll see during the year with me. Maybe you'll be lucky enough to actually see me wearing 3/4 lengths XD


Kebby x

P.S Email

Keb Vs. Life 26/05/11

I have to learn two years of Physics, in the ten minute walk to school.... hmmm Challenge accepted :D

But anyway, I could rant for hours about some very annoying people, but unfortunately I happen to have these people on facebook - and do not wish to start yet another war with said people.

And do you know what WE HAVE NO GODDAMN CHOCOLATE SPREAD

Why is whenever I get a craving we never have it in the house? No, but of course we have three shelves of biscuits, a draw full of chocolate, three packets of jam tarts, two tubes of ice cream, several cakes, and I'm pretty sure we even have some fancy English dessert in the fridge. BUT NO CHOCOLATE SPREAD just -.-

I mean what kind of person goes shopping and buys all kinds of stupidly fattening and bad for you food type items, but doesn't buy chocolate spread? I blame being a girl. Guys never have to deal with this. Guys open the fridge and then walk away. Guys live on beer (well my dad does...)

WHICH REMINDS ME

No wait, no it doesn't.

I'm really tired. And Physics has electrocuted my brain... hahaha electrocuted, get it?

Oh my God, someone should shoot me. I should not use a computer when I am this caffeine deprived. Either that, or I should give up on not drinking Coke. Red Bull substitute? Defiantly.

And also, I have proof that the general public are morons. I was born. There is your proof. If the world was clever, I wouldn't be here. Logic - I has it.

No Katie, just no.

Seriously someone please, I will pay you to shoot me >.<

Kebby x

P.S Subscribe by email, I dare you ;)

Keb Vs. Life 24/05/11

Ah, no rants for like, four days *shocked face*

"You talk to me as though I'm stupid." -him
"Only because a lot of people are stupid, and it's easier to just assume that everyone falls under my 'the human race are morons' philosophy" -me
"Oh really."
"And in twenty years time when I rule the world it'll be amazing."
"Rule the world? Never."
"Aren't you going to be sore when I'm ruler of the world before I'm 30 and all you'll have done is learned not to fall off a long board going 30mph"
"...."

This is the kind of conversation I have with a friend of mine. We then went on the discuss how, if we ruled the world, what would we do. It took him twenty minutes just to figure out which continent he wanted to live on. Whereas I was too busy plotting the demise of people who irk me... which is essentially most of the people I know.

And yes, there is a high chance that you, whoever is reading this, is on that list.

He finally decided on America, the White house to be exact. Whereas I chose to set up somewhere in Russia. I don't know why, but there you go.

He chose to abolish armies and didn't care if kids attended school. I chose to train a group of men to be ninjas who decapitate kids who don't go to school.

He chose to make prisoners into slave laborers. I chose the bring back the death penalty and make it easier to be your sentence.

Whose world would you rather live in?

His probably.


But anyway, I have to go and fail a chemistry exam. So short rant, and probably the last for a while....


Kebby x

P.S follow by email

Keb Vs. Life 19/05/11

Why ask a question and not believe the answer? Like really, what's the point? What is the point in asking me something, telling me you won't get mad, asking me to be totally honest with you, and then tell me I'm wrong?

If you're so convinced that you know the answer before you ask me then why ask me? I hate pointless things and you, my friend, are the mayor of pointless things. In fact, if they were to make a country dedicated to pointless things, they would name it after you, and then you would be it's king. Its deeply hated, and pointless king. Who would go the same way some french king did, beheaded. Do you know why you'll be beheaded? Because you're pointless.

And another thing, don't blame me when you screw up (this is a different person now)

It's not my fault you are a prick. I mean I admit to being a prick. If they had an award for prickness, there is a high chance I would win. But don't go around blaming me for the crap you've caused just because you don't want to admit that you are, in fact, very, very stupid.

As you can tell, I am in the most wonderful of moods today.


AND THAT FREAKING BIOLOGY EXAM even Johnson couldn't figure out some of the questions, and he's the freaking teacher.

Keb is not amused.


Do you know what else really annoys me? Watching perfectly innocent, amazing people, get kicked on their arse every five minutes. I know some people who don't deserve a hundreth of the amount of shit they've had to go through. The fact that they can still hold their head up and pretend like everything is okay amazes me so much. I wish I could be like those people.

It's like, don't people have better things to do than drag down everyone around them? Just because you're going to hell doesn't mean you have to bring everyone with you. Pricks.

Which reminds me. Have you noticed just how many pricks there are in the world?

It makes me sick.

Kebby x

P.S Follow by email <3

Keb Vs. Life 18/05/11

Today, we had an English exam. Today, I confirmed my suspicion that the exam boards are complete tossers bent on destroying our lives. Today, I learned about four places, in countries I don't particularly care about, give out free pigs, trade usage of a football pitch for bags of crap and entertain twelve people a day in exchange for not killing totally innocent animals out of spite.

You know, if the exam boards are going to take two hours of out life to kill our hand muscles and numb our arses then they could at least make the texts and questions interesting right?

Sometimes I genuinely think that the exam board think we are twenty years older than we actually are. Seriously, why would a bunch of 16/15 year old kids care about whether or not you want to spend your time in drizzly old England or sunny Spain? That's out parents job.


Most people are only alive because it's illegal to shoot them to be honest. I can think of at least five people I wouldn't mind shooting - and that's without thinking too hard about it.

Wanna hear a lame joke? Some people are like slinkies, pretty much useless, but it's so amusing to watch them fall down stairs... heh heh heh

Sometime I don't really understand is how people think that they can walk right over someone and then there not be any consequences to it. It's like, didn't we just have this argument last week? And already you're bringing it up again. Having the same fight, over and over again, with someone is one of the most draining things ever.

I'm also at the moment watching new moon, and I'm thinking to myself as I watch it, what sad lonely life must you lead if you pine like a zombie after a guy for months on end. There's more to life than guys and the crap they cause.

But don't think girls are any better. Girls are worse. Girls scheme. Girls are evil. Never forget that.

Kebby x

P.S the follow by email box is lonely D:

Keb Vs. Life 17/05/11

As I can't think of anything to write tonight (e.g I cba) I'll do two tomorrow. Deal?

Keb Vs. Life 16/05/11

Do you know what makes me laugh? When people are stupid enough to click links on facebook that are quite obviously a virus. Like that new dislike button that's currently circulating. It's not REAL you dumb ass.

Anyway, rant for today: Religion

Einstein said: Religion without Science is lame, Science without Religion is blind.

Christians believe that people are made in the image of God and that we differ from animals because we have souls whereas animals don't. I don't believe this- some men don't have souls. When I said this to my Dad his reply was: I have souls, soles on the bottom of my shoes, and people who believe in God? Why, they're ar-souls.

It made me giggle I must admit. He dared me to write it in my exam tomorrow. Isn't he a great role-model?

The fact is. You can't logically argue with an illogical person, in this metaphor, science is logical, and religion is illogical. Okay yes it was used to explain the unexplainable but now we don't really need it because science does it for us. The only difference is there is actual proof for science.

My dad said religion causes poverty, because in like the middle ages or whatever a lot of money was put toward building churches and donating to the church. Then they would blame God when they had no food. Well clever people, if you hadn't given the money to build a large house then you could go buy grain and you wouldn't starve.

Despite it's name, common sense really isn't all that common.

Plus power corrupts and when you could only get the bible in Latin it's said that the Vicars/Priests/person would manipulate the people who could barely read English let alone Latin so they could pretty much make it all up and say whatever they liked.

If you've done GCSE history like I have you'll also see how much Religion has hindered the development of medicine. Imagine - without religion how much more advanced do you reckon you'd be? If you took away all the time it took for ideas to become accepted and use that time to develop better ideas. We could have been hundreds of years more advanced in medical knowledge.

The only good point to religion that I can see is that it nurtures hope and faith. Which aren't necessarily bad things.

And if my shoulder didn't really hurt and I was allowed my laptop for longer I would've written more but I has to go now.

Conclusion: Religion bad. Science good.

Kebby x

P.S *points to follow by email box*

Keb Vs. Life 15/05/11

I am in an irritable mood. So I am just going to choose random people and pick on them.

Robert Pattinson:
I have never met you (thank God) so I can't say I hate you. However, I can say this: Robert, you are as sexy as a four day old wet fish that has been chewed up and spat out by a rabid animal of some sort. Something I have never been able to fathom just how you have managed to ensnare the (small) minds of so many teenage girls when I have yet to find a girlfriend.

I am sorry to say girls *turns on metaphorical gaydar* that unfortunately, the guy-of-your-dreams is also probably gay. Have you seen his hair? It's almost, almost, as bad a Jedwards :O

If this wasn't bad enough, you also willingly chose to play an arrogant, none sexy, gay, sparkly fairy. So if I didn't dislike you before, I defiantly do now.

Speaking of sparkly fairies that reminds me - your charming (sorry couldn't type that with a straight face) co-star:

Kirsten Stewart:
Honey, you have the same number of emotions as a doorknob. Actually that's an insult to doorknobs. Doorknobs could act better than you. Seriously, watch anything you've ever been in. Every single frame of you is just you being indifferent. In Twilight when the big bad fairy breaks your leg you look mildly uncomfortable - at best - but on the other hand...

Lea Michele:
Cool it you clown on speed. Sell some of your facial expressions to Kirsten and do the entire world a favor. (In case you are just that stupid, Lea Michele plays 'Rachael Berry' in Glee) and I know this is probably not your fault, but you want to get a nose job just because your Jewish? The world seems to be a little more completely out of it's mind than I originally thought...

And preforming Rebecca Black's - Friday is simply unforgivable.

Our headteacher:
You're a douche. End of sentence. Not open to discussion.

Justin Beiber:
Do you know what would be really great? If people would stop calling her gay - I mean come on, we don't want her either. I wasn't overly impressed when they did Beiber Fever on Glee either to be honest. It made me lose that last shred of faith that I had in humanity.

Stephenie Mayer:

I have read all the books in the Twilight series and I have read 'The Host' and I have this to say: How, Miss Mayer, can someone write the Host with such obvious talent, but also write such drivel that is Twilight? It baffles me, because The Host was actually amazing, but Twilight is full of so many plot holes, and really every other word just seems like a thesaurus threw up every other word for 'Vampire' and 'Sparkle'

Really I should be revising. Exams start tomorrow and I'm looking for any excuse to put it off so I'm going off now.

Kebby x

P.S Subscribe via email ;D

Keb Vs. Life 14/05/11

First, I would like to say: OMG HUGH LAURIE HAS AN ALBUM *drool*

*awkward cough*

Anyway, my topic for today: The music industry.

By my dad's definition, anything without a guitar is 'black R'n'B crap' and that anyone that listens to today's auto tuned pop culture is wrong in the head, has no life, and needs to listen to some real music.

I agree, to a certain extent, I wouldn't go as far as to call it 'black R'n'B crap' because it's not. Like LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem is actually pretty amazing in my opinion. But Rebecca Black's - Friday makes me want to remove my ears from my head with a blunt spoon, and the video for it? There isn't an insult bad enough to describe it. What really made me disappointed in today's pop culture was the fact they thought it would be a good idea to preform Friday on Glee. God help us.

Some people would expect me to also thoroughly rip Justin Bieber and Jedward to shreds too. But I can't because they don't even qualify as music, and thus cannot be insulted in the middle of my music industry rant... but while we are here, Justin Beiber seriously does look like a thirteen year old girl with a short lesbian hair cut, and Jedwards hair styles? *shudder*

Do you want to know what real music is? Real music is FooFighters, Iron Maiden, Avril Lavigne, Nickelback, Green Day, My chemical romance and Linkin Park (Y'know before their latest album, which is a fail)

Not this Auto tuned, pre-puberty, screaming fan-girl attracting shit.

Rebecca Black's video on Youtube has 139,024,056 views. As of 14:10 today. Overall it has 3,136,629 ratings. 2,753,317 are dislikes. The poster of the video had to stop comments being posted because it was just pages and pages of insults. Rebecca has even received death threats due to her music.

Now yeah, while it sucks and is one of the most terrible things to have happened to music in forever (excluding Miley Cyrus, Jedward and Justin Bieber) I don't think she deserves death threats. I mean she's what? fifteen? and all she's done is sold her soul to some record company who have written and produced this song. It's not her fault most people are mind numbingly stupid.

And the death threats just prove my philosophy that the general public are morons.

I was explaining this to my friend the other day, you can hate what it's done, you can hate the fans, but you can't hate the person, or the book (we were talking about Twilight) if you have never met them, or never read it. It's impossible to hate someone you've never met. You can hate their music, you can hate their fans, and you can hate the fact it made your ears bleed. But you can't hate the actual person. For all you know they could be really nice.

But damn do I hate their music.

Kebby x

P.S Subscribe via email, do it.

Keb V.s Life 13/05/11

Do you know what really bugs me? Like really, really bugs me?

When Blogger goes down for maintenance and deletes one of my posts and I can't remember what I said so it's now possibly lost forever. And when it removes my oh-so-brilliant new layout, that has just taken me half an hour to restore.
This is why I prefer paper to blogs.

I got a request today, to do a rant on P.E. So let's see what happens...

But before I go on, if you look in the left hand side of the blog, near the top there is a box. In this box it says: Follow by email. But here's the clever bit, if you type your email into the little white box underneath 'Follow by email' you will be emailed when I post a new blog. This way I don't have to continually post it on facebook. Brilliant no?

Right, anyway, to be honest I actually rather enjoy P.E so I don't have anything specifically aimed at the school subject. I do however seem to have the most hilarious group of students in my P.E lessons. I mean seriously, just watch us play rounders, you'll never laugh so hard in your life.

First of all, as a whole, we suck. I mean yeah there are a few of us who can throw, who can catch, who can bat and who can run - and there's only about one who can do all four - but mostly, we just suck.

You can pretty much put us all into these categories:
Dancers
Droppers
Flails
Over-enthusiastic fails
Slippers

Their definitions are as follows:
Dancers: The people who are more groovy then movey.... wait I re-read that and saw how totally and completely OMG that sounded. But you get the picture. The people who are more Gymnastics, Dancing, Badminton kind of people - all they are really good for is making you laugh hysterically at their mockery of a run/throw/catch, though to be honest they can usually hit quite well.

Droppers: Anyone who has ever seen friends knows where this is going, these people may or may not be very good at everything else, except catching. I once watched someone go to catch the ball and it go straight through their hands and hit them smack damn in the middle of their forehead. It was the most fail of all failed catches I have ever seen in my life.

Flails: These are the ones who sort of stand there instead of trying to hit the ball and then dither on the spot before deciding whether or not they are going to run. Or a sub-breed of this is when they do run, but they run as though they are a spider on crack, arms and legs everywhere....

Over-enthusiastic fails: These are the ones who think they are awesome and end up screaming at you to run faster, or to stop at a post, or yell because you didn't catch the ball. These are the people you feel like going up to (with the rounders bat) and smacking them up-side the head with it.

Slippers: Maybe the funniest category of all, these are the people who do the most spectacular dives/trips and end up gamboling between posts, or sliding in on their knees to the last post. Even the fielding team can do this when they go to catch. God knows I've done it enough times XD



Finally there are the players who don't even deserve a category and have to go deep field, like so far back you'd have to be superman to hit it that far. Or the person who you pretend you don't see when it's there turn to bat and you just go in front of them.


And this is just Rounders XD

I also have a new favorite Youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmcK83CS9DE

Seriously, go watch it.

Kebby x

P.S subscribe via email, you know you want to ;)
P.P.S why are you still here? Go watch the youtube video. God.

Keb Vs. Life 11/05/11

Maths.

Doesn't the word just make you shudder?

I mean there has to be a reason as to why man invented the computer? (Other then to post rants insulting people) and I think it is this: so people like me don't have to learn how to do maths.

Okay, so maths can be useful...ish. It can be used to determine the overall intelligence of someone, because if you can work out trigonometry then you are my hero. The man who invented it must never of had a girlfriend - and believed his teachers when they said that smart people get the girls, and they do, if the smart people are also really cute.

We have to learn it for potential employers and universities right? I mean what high end art school doesn't want their students to know how to work out how many 'pairs of puffins' there are in the world (this was an actual question in the practice paper we did today, I'm serious)?

Granted you might want to know this if you wanted to be a conservationist - or are really, really sad and lonely - but for everyday life? Not so much.

I understand learning to count, and problem solving, but unless you want to be a mathematician (and I don't know why you would) or a high school maths teacher (if you do you are insane) - the rest is 99% of the time, useless.

And what's this calculator Vs. none calculator business? You can pretty much guarantee that outside exams I will use a calculator for every maths question I come up against - and if I don't have a calculator? I don't to the maths equation. Why? Because I have better things to do with my time than sit for an hour staring blankly at a page of numbers because even my sub-conscience thinks it's pointless and has blocked out the memory of me trying to learn how to answer the question.

While I'm picking on school subjects lets have a look at physics shall we. Because really Physics is just fancy maths. No physics, no. Go sit down in the corner - no one likes you. Except maybe Physicists, but why would you trust them? Then chose to become Physicists, obviously they are wrong in the head...

And for the record! My sister wanted to do triple science for a GCSE option right? If you do triple you get three GCSE's, if not you get two. But because the school wasn't happy with the control it already had, it decided to take away her 'options' (I use the term options loosely) by saying that to have to take a language - this filled up one of her oh so few slots.

Now okay, French might advance your career or get you better pay but sometimes it doesn't (and frankly there isn't a French teacher who doesn't scare me a little) and isn't the point of 'options' just that? It's OPTIONAL.

She was so upset with this. It's not fair. What if it stops her doing what she wants because she wasn't able to get that last science GCSE?

The high school system never ceases to amaze me to be honest. As long as it makes them look good it doesn't matter what we think, does it?

And the teachers and uniform? That's a whole other rant.


Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life 09/04/11

Morning all,

I was in Birmingham the other week and as I was walking down the high street I heard something that stirred fits of laughter from my stomach - "Homosexuality is a disease, Jesus can heal you"

Well, my first reaction was - this Jesus fellow must be pretty impressive if he can heal people from the afterlife. My second reaction was this - If God is all-loving and gave us the power of free will then why the hell can't I be gay?

I would have gone up to them and have a lengthy philosophical debate with them had I not been with my Christian Grandmother who doesn't know I'm gay. I wasn't particularly fond of treating a heart attack in the middle of the busy Birmingham high street.

Being gay is not a disease. I don't go around telling you how to live your life so don't go around telling me how to live mine. How many religions are there? They can't all be true, they contradict each other too much. I'm not saying you shouldn't believe, by all means go ahead, whatever gets you through the day. My only problem is when you use religion as an excuse to bully perfectly innocent people for being a little different to you.

If being gay is abnormal and wrong because it's a minority and we weren't born to be this way originally, then by the same logic you should be chasing vegetarians with your massive killer bibles and smacking them round the head with it as well. Humans are born with the ability to eat meat, and the majority of people do. But that doesn't make them wrong, or such a big target for bullying, does it?

If you don't like gay relationships/marriage, then the answer is quite simple: don't get one.

For an English assignment we had to write a speech about an ambition. I chose to do one on promoting gay rights and helping to get them accepted in this society. When I had finished I had made a couple of people cry, and a few came up to me and said how it was a great speech and that it really made them think.

But it didn't really change anything. I still hear the comments people pass about me as I walk down the corridor, and I still get gay joke after gay joke during conversations (which, guys, are getting boring, can't you think up some more original ones?) and it made me sad.

I thought out generation was suppose to be the one that is going to change the world! But maybe I was wrong, maybe it's going to take longer than I thought.

Why does there have to be something to pick on? Woman, blacks, religion, gays, handicapped people.

The American deceleration states 'free rights for all'

When will everyone realize that 'all' really does mean ALL?


By the way, you can guarantee this won't be my last rant on being gay.

Kebby x

Keb Vs. Life

Good morning all,

This is the first, and introductory, post to what I'm going to call 'Keb Vs. Life'
The name was a toss up between 'Keb Vs. Life' 'Keb Vs. the human race' and 'Keb Vs. the world'
Vs. the world made me sound like some lame comic book hero, and the human race didn't sound right to me, but anyway.

What is Keb Vs. Life?
Basically it's a series of rants that I have that take the piss out of, and insult, many of life's totally ridicules aspects and traditions.

Interested?
Interested in what? You haven't read anything yet, you have to go through the other posts first Einstein ;)

But anyway, as you have probably figured (that is if your brain is bigger than an ant) that my name is Keb, Katie Elizabeth Berwick.

And so it is, Keb Vs. Life